Education and the Book

If I had known, in 2001, that I would be sitting here, where I am, doing what I am doing now, I would have probably done something different. I could have had 7 years, already of doing something else, that would have me somewhere today. I was told, though, I'd always have a job in special education, back in 2001. I thought I would have climbed the ladder by now. I got over the hurdle of resenting the education field because of what happened to my mom, my mother. I said nothing like that would happen to me, and people who are "positive thinkers" would have said not to let what happened to her stop me, that it didn't mean it would happen to me. Well, I wasn't fired, but I've been out of work for a year and when I did get a position, it was 50 miles away from my house. I drove 100 miles a day for 3 years, but I did so, for 3 years, because I loved the people and I loved the environment. I guess a better person would say they would still do the same thing. I wish I could say that. I still love education and I want, still, to be in a school, working with kids and adults and being involved in educating.

I still want to do it, but I'm a changed person. When and if I get another job, I will not go into it the same way I have before. Someone said that publishing a book, getting the attention of Oprah and talking to a famous author and songwriter was very, very difficult. I said that it is no more difficult than for me to get a job in education.

Someone, ask me about HQT. I've written letters upon letters to so many people about it, and I've heard nothing. I don't exactly know why I chose all the people I chose to write to, but Oprah was one of them. I sent a letter by snail mail, and I've read she doesn't accept snail mail anymore.

I will just come out and tell you about HQT. I had a "Turn To 8"---a news station---consumer advocacy ---reporter---and I made up that number 8, it's another number, a number between 1 and 5---I'm trying to be discreet about names and places---tell me he didn't understand and didn't understand what I wanted him to do. I want people to know about this. I want people to know that this is happening. I emailed several television reporters who never replied. HQT stands for Highly Qualified Teacher, and it is part of No Child Left Behind, the education law that Pres. Bush enacted. HQT means hours in every core subject that is taught in a school. It also means that even though one may have a teaching certificate, they may not be a Highly Qualified Teacher. If you "teach" a subject, you have to have so many hours in that subject area, and special education teachers haven't usually been required to have extra hours in each subject area. They mostly have had classes in how to teach and work with kids who have learning disabilites. This law was enacted after most people had been teaching, for years, and there is no "grandfathering" clause. Let me say again, it was enacted after most people had been teaching, for years, with no leniency or "grandfathering" clause.

Back in 2004, approximately 2004, there was a meeting with administrators at my former district, and it was discussed that if you were in a supportive role, inclusionary role as a special educator, you didn't need to have all those extra hours. After an interview, though, with a prestigious school district, I found out otherwise. I called ODE (Ohio Department of Education), and found out that the State had published the wrong information. I read that information, myself, and I had been working in inclusion, so I didn't worry about it. I thought, too, probably over optimistically, as it seems any positive thought I've had has been "over-optomistic," that I'd be able to get an inclusionary job if mine ended. Let me reiterate. The State published the wrong information--it doesn't matter what role you have as an Intervention Specialist/Spec. Ed. Teacher---you have to have those hours anyway, but that's not what they said, the first time.

If I would have had the right information in 2004, I would have attained those hours back in 2004.

There is a Center that offers those classes for free, and I'm going to try to get them. I want to be HQT, especially IF I get hired, providing a school district will hire me without them and will have mercy.

Oh, the book.

Maybe this should be a seperate page or post.

If I didn't make it clear enough, I have attempted to write a book. I started it back in 1998, and I believed it was finished in 2001. It needs work, though. I need someone to share this dream of mine and help me get it in publishable condition---highly publishable condition (HQC). It is about my amazing mother, strong, beautiful, intelligent, highly able to teach, mother and me, and then something that happened to me in college. I made up a reason, why someone, "Josh" said and did the things he said and did, because in real life, it never made "a lick of sense."

It's baffled me how people can say things, to someone with a heart--how people can say things to people with hearts. It's baffled me and the "Josh" thing has baffled me, since 1998. I hate to say that date. I hate for it to be revealed as to how long it's been, but I have never been able to wrap a realistic mind around it, until now, and yet, still not completely.

I have a vision of him but it's not clear.

One or two things is/are clear, and it pains me, sometimes to think about what I can see, but that's ok. That's Ok. I do see a man, who lives a great life and somehow lost his soul. If he didn't have a "soul" before, I don't know how I didn't know it. I thought he, had the most precious soul in the world, the most "feeling" soul. I have seen him living an untruth.

I see him happy. I see him having a great life. A great life. Yet, there is something I wonder.

He is the epitomy of an oxymoron, to me. I guess when it relates directly to a person, they are hypocrites.

He looked one way and said something else.

And if/WHEN I get on Oprah, hopefully the whole entire world will not have read this, just some people, enough people but not enough for America to know that it didn't end the way it did in the book.

I say this, in the book--I want people to fall in love with the "Josh" in the book. I want people to fall in love with him, and the person that I fell in love with--I wrote a beautiful story, and I hope I find someone, somewhere, something like "Josh."

Cindy