ran into the former student who wrote a Rec. letter

I ran into a former student who wrote a Recommendation letter for my mom.

I am not sure if I put it on here---he said he had a teacher in the ninth grade that was an inspiration in his life in many ways.

He works for the City and was outside when I went to pay my water bill (which took most of my Frisch's money). He looked like he knew me and I asked. He said I looked familiar. I said I was Bernice Boggs Taylor's daughter. I said I was going through her things, found his Rec. letter and that I wanted to make a movie to clear her name. I refreshed his memory on what happened and he nodded. I told him that I had always known she wasn't incompetent and that students would come up and ask if she was still teaching. I knew if students asked her if she was still teaching that she wasn't incompetent. He nodded. I told him I had gone into education and couldn't get a job.

I wanted to ask him if people could talk to him for research when the movie was being produced.

I wonder what people who are scientific in nature think about what I'm proposing and what I'm doing, because there could be controversy about some things. There can be, could be and maybe are other sides to this story (stories). Other sides. Other sides. "Josh" in real life may have another side and other people could see his side in real life--my aunt has a saying, "I have a tail and I sit on mine" I sit on mine. I really want to save info till the book or movie comes out--I'd love to share it now and it just crossed my mind to do so, but I'm trying to save it.

I was enthralled by things he did. It was a powerful time for me when I spent the little time that I did with him. Enthralled and entranced.

I have tried to disguise people with different names and places having different names and make there be some differences between what was real life, but I want the story of her life, my mother's life, to be as much the same as possible. I want it and everything done with dignity, respect and honor.

I do worry though in an aspect related to "Josh" in real life. I do---he could have some complaints about me and I fear what he could think if he knew he was going to be portrayed. But, the story goes different than it did in real life. Reality---I have nothing. Not him. So broke because I was living in a dream that I'd have a successful career in education in spite of interviewing everywhere in my area and being turned down. Reality--what happened to me, eventually, in the end, in the book, didn't happen in real life. I have nothing. Thought if I had a career in education I'd have Something and the rest of life would work out well in some way.

I've tried to think about everything---my aunts whom I've loved my whole life---all of them and never could understand why my mom felt the way she did. They have been wonderful in my life and spending the time I did with them was all for a great benefit. Loved "Ruby." She probably wouldn't like that name, though. I may have to go through a book of names and change some again.

I also thought this morning about Cameron Mathison's age---how I hate time---Josh is supposed to be 27 and Leslie is supposed to be 22 or 23. I'm not opposed to the guy playing Josh being older but Leslie has got to stay 22 or 23. It doesn't really work out well, though, if Josh is like in his mid to late 30s and Leslie is 22 or 23. Crap.

Ok--I know this would be Hollywood that I'm dealing with---if somehow I had been able to do this Years ago now---it would work out perfect, *perfect* for Cameron to do this. His eyes are very prominent in his acting and when Ryan was going through the "thing" with Jillian on All My Children, it was clear to me he should play Josh.

What are we going to do?

I thought about my piece of the script. I'm impressed with myself and I was thinking about Josh saying, "So I have to wait." I know how the guy should say it.

I've tried to think of all sides of everything and still need something to happen in creative form.

Ellen has to call.


Cindy