Special Education and the message

I really, really want to get this out there---I wish people would stop telling people to go into special education, that they will always have job, that it's a booming field.

Statistics may say that it is, but maybe not where you live, and I can't move right now. I have an 87 year old aunt who is the only auntI have left on my father's side of the family. She is dear to me and I can't leave. I also have some other circumstances.

I am so very tired of hearing about how special education is a needed field.

I am so very tired of it.

I am so very tired of everything.

So Very Tired Of Everything. I wish I had a day, today, that I could just relax. I wish it was just a "relax" kind of day, but it's not.

I should have been working in a restaurant since 1998. It seems it's the only kind job besides insurance that I can get. Now keeping it is going to be a challenge. I got to thinking last night, what if I lose this job that I am horrible at?

I told the manager I'd be better at bussing and asked if I could just bus tables. She said she'd ask someone but that you make better money waitressing.

I was supposed to go to Career Services at my University on July 3rd and forgot.

Surely there is something more worthwhile I can do than work in a restaurant and will be do-able, and lucritive. Surely, if I can't get a job in education, surely there is something for me.

During that time I was "hearing" things, I "heard" I was destined for something even greater than education. If there is/was any truth in that, I want to do it, now. I want it all, now.

I am in a place I don't want to be and never thought I'd be. Why do we always think life or something is going to be better than what it is? WHY? WHY???

Hope has always sprung eternal, with me, and I'm sorry for that. My uncle has said that we sometimes don't get to do the job we thought we would or we don't always get to do the job we want.

Matthew Perry will play him in the movie. The show he had on NBC, about the producer of the comedy show, showed me, more than ever, HE could PLAY MY UNCLE!!!! HE COULD PLAY MY UNCLE!!!!!

Please, someone, hear me, see me, help me.

Cindy Taylor