Ellen Calling

I hope Ellen calls. I hope she calls and I hear her say, "Cindy, I hear you and know you, and this is going to happen. You're going to have a movie made and people are lining up to be in it. Tom Hanks wants to talk to you and George Clooney wants to talk to you. We'll work something out with Cameron Mathison. People want to talk to you and are lining up to be a part of this. I hope you haven't become too comfortable with your new job because you're going to have to come out here or we're going to have to come to you to work on getting this movie produced."

Long shot. Long shot, but

I hope that happens. Would be too good to be true but, God, I hope that happens.

I'm trying to be positive with an idea that I get a job.

Oh, how I want people to talk to me.

God, how I want people to talk to me and know me.

If she'd say, "People would stop what they are doing to work on this movie."

God.

There's this bossy 12th grader at the restaurant and when I walked in, she was telling me to do something. I want to ask her so badly if she's eyeing the manager position--if that's what her goal is in life (not that there's a thing wrong with that---the managers are very nice and restaurant managers are great people---she's just so bossy). She has no idea who Rick Springfield is though and I asked her today if she knew who John Mellencamp was---no idea. I said loudly after she told me what to do when I walked in, "I'm going to be making a movie."

I think she has a hard life, though.

After she asked me if I had done something before I was getting ready to leave, I asked her why she was asking. She acted like so she wouldn't have to do it.

I'm listening to Rick again. "I've done everything for you! You've done nothing for me! You've done nothing for me!" "I'm picking up my baby tonight...Love is alright tonight and we're going to be alright. Love is alright. Love is alright--tonight." "tell me what kind of fool am I, just to let go? just let go like that? to lose her?" I hope Rick won't get after me for copywrite violations--I'm picky about copywriting, but this in quotes and I clearly mention Rick. I don't need anymore problems. "don't try and tell me you think it's all physical, it goes much deeper than that. It's an affair of the heart. It's an affair of the heart." "Everybody's talking to computers...But Sally has a hard time holding back. The alley to heart her heart is a beaten track...WE all need the human touch. I need it the human touch. We all need it and I need it too" "I can see the path you're cutting. cost me a little piece of my heart...loving you has been hard on me, such a tough little sister looking for Mr. Right. You better love somebody, it's late. You better love somebody, don't tempt fate."

My "best" friend doesn't know I'm doing this---she doesn't know this is going on---I'm afraid she'd not understand. She said back in April I had been acting "Bizarre," and for what was going on, maybe I was---but she didn't "get something" then and I don't know if she'd get this now. She said once I was too young for memoir. What I've done, trying to do, isn't really a memoir but it's close.

Something has to happen.

Ellen---Read this and call.

Cindy