back to kindergarten

I'm going back to kindergarten at Frisch's. I've totally bombed as a server, and they want to retrain me. I didn't get any complaints tonight. I had four booths. They have the best of intentions, I guess. I don't think they want to fire me. I think they just want me to get better at it.

I want to be in a school, and I want to get this project (book and movie) done. I want all these things. I'm going to smile at people I'm serving at the restaurant like I'm serving Oprah or Ellen. I'm going to smile at people like I'm serving them.

I remember thinking some years ago, if I can just get my license (educational license, Intervention Specialist license) I can get a job. If I can just get...I can get...Oh, if I had only known I would bomb with interviews in almost every district in this area. If I had only known, I'm not sure what I would have done.

How can I say I would still have gone into education? How can I say that? I would like to. I would like to say I would have done the same thing, but I don't know.

I would have done something different. I would have started working at Frisch's back then.

I am going to try to think the Calvary is going to come. Someday I'm going to get a call from Ellen Degeneres. I'm going to see Oprah. I'm going to get over the dream threshold.

Cindy