My mother's life of hell

My mother lived a life of hell, and I left so much of it out of my book. After going through papers, from which she wrote, starting in January of 1994 till about March, and she died July 12, 1994, I had to take some aspirin.

I feel I have done her a great injustice, myself, in where I am today. I have done her such an injustice to be here, where I am today--working two food jobs, being broke, how I let her down. How I let her down!

She got into a world of mess when she married my dad. What a mess it was. He will be gone 34 or 35 years, I guess, tomorrow--the 15th.

How all of that will fit into the movie, I don't know but I'm sure someone more talented than myself can make it fit.

I need help getting this done, and I used to think, or was thinking, that it was too sappy to put "Josh" and "Leslie" in and what I planned for them, but it's not now. It's not too sappy--it should be there, in my opinion, right now. If it can be shown the hell she ("Billie" Bernice) lived through, I think it would be deserving for her daughter to meet the best man in the whole wide world.

I have such a headache and I am going to be in Dayton at the Americorps office at 9 am.

I don't know why I'm going through this, except that this project be awakened. I wasn't thinking about it while I had my good job. It wasn't that important anymore, but it is now. It is and whatever job I get, providing I get one, I won't let it go. I won't let it go again, not until George Clooney is playing a Superintendent, Charlie Sheen is playing an Assist. Super. Tom Hanks is playing an assist. principal and Matthew Perry playing my uncle. I won't let it go. Not sure how to get to it but I can't let it go.

Someone, hear me. I beg to be heard.

Cindy

Cindy