tonight

I have 46 posts, and tonight was not good waitressing. I didn't feel right when I came back from my break, and I got "sat" in the front. There was a change when I came back, and there was food in the window and people told me to take food out. Well, the guy was "sat" in the front and then 5 people got "sat" in the back. Someone told me to take what I thought was drinks to someone's section, and I did that. Well, I didn't hear that I was supposed to take the table, also.
The regular person from that section got mad because she didn't think she was supposed to have them.

The guy at the front ordered something I had never heard of before--a large cole slaw and something else that wasn't usually part of a platter. I didn't know he wanted fries because he ordered two things and I thought he was choosing those two things as part of his platter, but he wanted fries. I asked the manager how to put in the order and anyway, it wasn't the way he wanted it, but that wasn't the bad part. I couldn't get his refill to him in time and when I started taking it out he was leaving. I asked him if he wanted one to go, and he said he hadn't had one throughout his meal but he had. He wanted the manager to take his whole order off because he didn't get a refill and asked for corporate's number.

Then, at closing, I was trying to change the stuff in the service area (salad dressings, salad fixings) and these little what my mother would call "doomy-flatchets" that hold the dressings fell off and the dressings fell also.

This woman who is the dining room leader got mad at me. She yelled at me.

I don't deserve this. My aunt says I complain too much and someone said I should be happier and someone said I wasn't being positive.

Maybe I should be those things.

I started to think tonight that I was too pompous when I said I wanted money for my project, but after I got yelled at and complained about, I thought I was justified in wanting money for the project. If it's pompous, I apologize. I do. I will tell the world for free about my life and about my mom, but in print or movie form, I want something.

I've lived a something of a life. When I wait on people that have parents and when I wait on people that have spouses and babies, I don't understand. I do not understand why something has not gone right.

I don't understand why God is not allowing things to work for me to be in a school.

I don't understand why I have to be alone. I just don't.

Cindy