In case my constant stream of thought may have confused anyone

Someone who may not know me may be confused about things----really confused----

I grew up in this little town with a big "secret," of sorts.

And, I've been through hell this past year---went into the same field that this "secret" surrounds--and am severely unemployed.

It has been "in my face" of the Wrong, surrounding this "secret," and a Wrong or Wrongs in my own life.

I wrote a book about this "secret"--my mother teaching for 25 years and being fired in the middle of it on grounds of incompetence--the life she lived in spite of adversity and illness--and then I talk about, in this book, about meeting a guy. In real life, the guy said a very hurtful thing, but in the book, I make there be a beautiful reason. There's a beautiful, happy ending. It's beautiful.

And, I know I've "jumbled" things but I'm writing from whatever "hits" my brain and my heart, and I hope that in spite of things being "jumbled" or if someone clicks on a post and wonders what in the world I'm talking about--it will be understood, if not then, later.

I've been angry as of late about what the guy I met, said in real life. I've envisioned being asked about it in relation to the way things worked out in the book. I've envisioned being asked and I want and have wanted to say my response, which was his response---he said it, and I only want to repeat it. (now, I may seem disconnected in my writing, but just keep in mind, I'm talking about a vision) I've been angry about the whole thing surrounding the guy and mystified by it. The mystery of how he has led his life and what was done, shares the mystery of how a woman who taught for 25 years, with wonderful things being said about her, could have been fired on grounds of incompetence. But, in the book, the movie that will be made, beauty and justice will come.

I need to put form to people and events in my life and make this time of hell worth something.

I forget what the literary term is for writing what you are thinking "off the top of your head."

That is what I've been doing, because a lot of things have been coming off the top of my head.

There are some people who are important, that I want in that movie, but I'm a little person in a little town but have a big dream, and breaking the threshold of that dream is my ever constant challenge.

(George Clooney, Tom Hanks, Charlie Sheen, Julia Roberts, Cameron Mathison, are just a few of those important people I want in this movie)

If someone has a question, let me know.

Cindy