This afternoon

I know I have like almost a 100 posts by now. This could be a book in itself, I suppose, if there's any interest to it.

There's a "handful" of something I never understood and it confounds me to this day. There is a whole element of mystery, disbelief, and complete astonishment.

I went somewhere today, my former University, and I had these flashbacks and amazement that I was there, as Cindy Taylor, trying to get a career. I had these flashbacks. The mystery, disbelief and complete astonishment involved with this "handful" of something I never understood was right in fornt of me, like everything else.

My aunt adminshes me for talking or thinking about it.

I looked at myself for a second while this computer was warming up and I wondered if that was the way I looked at him.

It was a beautiful day. The Dayton, Ohio area is beautiful. Beautiful skies and beautiful clouds and beautiful horizons. I love it. I wouldn't mind talking about all that happend from August of 2007 to May of this year, in fact I might love to talk about it if it wouldn't make me look ridiculous. Things everywhere today reminded me of what was going on in that time, and I thought of something that I had for some time put behind me. I passed an exit on the highway and I thought about what lies beyond that exit. I know what lies beyond the exit but only on a surface level and that's all I should know and am meant to know. That's all.

I may be obtaining a position with Americorps. It would be year long service opportunity and I would probably be tutoring, which is what I'm a pro at---I would get $800 a month and I would have to supplement that some way---I'm lucky if I'm depositing $800 a month right now. Lucky. IF there is a movie deal or book deal or any kind of project deal coming my way, LA would have to do just that---come my way. I think it would be appropriate, though, considering this is where my mother lived and experienced most of what happened. I think it would be appropriate. Writing about it or working on it from LA wouldn't lend to authenticity.

I have to be at a Personel Agency in a minute,

LA, Come.

Cindy