last night and my post

I wrote out a post yesterday but when I hit "Publish" the internet blocked out.

Basically, I can't remember what I said and I knew that I wouldn't be able to get it all back when that happened.

Something to do with being at the County fair of the county where I used to work, for 3 years, for the bathtub remodeling company. I thought about and wondered if the student who raised rabbits would be there and if I'd run into him. Traveled the same stretch of highway I used to for 3 years. It never seemed like that far away and I always marvled that it never seemed that far away, though it was 50 miles half a trip.

I had a job interview for a high school Intervention Specialist position (my field, special education teacher) today. I know I didn't come close to getting it. I didn't know what a functional behavior assessment was (heard of it, haven't done one, or heard of it recently; college class days) and I couldn't state anything much about OGT benchmarks. I just know that we tried to prepare the kids at the Junior High every day for that test, in the future--that everything we did was to prepare them for the tests. I know we used the Content Standards books (and I forgot the name, Content Standard books; I said we used "the books."). It was going to be a resource room (terminology those not acquainted with education may not know) position. I would mainly be working with a group of kids, on my own, instead of with the kids who have LDs and general population. Inclusion is when you work with kids and the general education teacher, together and everyone is all together. Resource rooms set kids who have LD with each other and the teacher. I like inclusion.

I would have taken it though.

I am getting set up to Sub. (Substitute--fill in for teachers who are out a day)

I do not know why this is happening. I do not know. I just do not know. I need sense. I need sense about things, and if it could be seen, this didn't happen and that didn't happen for THIS to happen, I'd be happy. I'd be good. It would all be good, but I Can't see anything right now.

They asked what set me apart from everyone, and I said, "Perseverence." I was able to elaborate on that, quite a bit. Quite a bit.

Yep, quite a bit.

I'm all about perseverence. I explained how I have had to persevere to be in this field and then I said that when the doctor said my mother's 25 lb tumor (was really more than 25 lbs--it tipped the scale) was inoperable, I had to ask the doctor if it could actually be removed.

Just in case one may not know about my perseverence to get into the educational field--was told in 2001 I would always have a job and could always get a job but after several interviews got one but didn't enjoy the Place---went out looking again, couldn't get hired for 2 years---had my teaching test miscored being one of 1500 or 2000 that got a false fail--took the test 3 times and passed TWICE---then, when I did get a job it was in 2003 and it was eliminated in 2007, and I've done nothing but interview, interview, interview, interview, and I was there, interviewing, again, today.

That is all I know how to do and do well. Persevere.

I hope there is a reason. As I've said, I have a voice. I have a mind. I have a heart. And I have a soul. What to do and where to go?

Cindy