In some way, I'm reaching out to him, at the moment---if only this way---to get it out---to say those words I never said, and to know now---I know now---I loved him. And how I wish he could come sweep me off my feet (though I weigh 40 more pounds than I used to)---he could swing me around---anything, anything----how I wish he could just take me away, right now. Once I was really worried about something, and he said, "Uh, Cindy, I don't even know about that..." See, he knew my name. He knew my name, and if I was what he said, he wouldn't have known my name.
Oh---God----I ask. I ask.
To see him now and to not have the things be the way they are or I think they are---for everything to be made right. Oh God. It's my time. It is so my time.
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