So, here it is---September 4, 2008, not far into the month of September.

No Calvary yet, and I’m scouting the classifieds. I Am Trying to coordinate the best way to work out my life. There are home health aid positions that don’t require a nursing background, and if I could do that in addition to subbing (substituting for teachers) it would be a good supplement and I wouldn’t have to face food or a grill everyday. They have weekend and evening shifts. I just have to have something coming in.

I also am contacting an insurance group. Haven’t given up on the insurance possibility. I want a 6 figure income. I DESERVE it. I HAVE Earned it. I’ve paid time and dues.

I want my aunt to be able to live in a house that she would like and I want to live in a house I would like better, though I’m thankful what I have as long as I can have it, providing I don’t go broke, even so broke that what my aunt is helping with doesn’t help.

I would like my aunt to be able to move into a house, “across the river” that is right across a lonely road from a grocery store. There’s not a lot of traffic on that road at all, and is like a road to itself.

I would like to move into a big house, and the house that my aunt would move into would be big for her, I know.

People who have a job in a school are so lucky. They are so very, very lucky. I know the grass is always greener on the other side, and I’ve walked into a school where I’ve felt things are terribly wrong, but if someone has a good school job and are in a good school, they are so lucky. I never, never thought I would want to be somewhere and not be able to get there. Never thought that would happen. Never thought I would be held back from what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be. It’s not how I saw life. Not at all.

Never thought I’d be held back, and know that I have the talent and what it takes to do it.

Never thought I’d be here.

A friend said last year when I was newly unemployed, “Go get a job anywhere.” Well, I know most people do that. I know that’s possible. I’ve tried it, and I do not know why it doesn’t work for me. Tried it. Is it that I don’t want to do it, whatever it is? Why? Go get a job anywhere, anything. God. Why?

Hope people are reading this.

Cindy