Please Read. September 2017. Long Over Due Updates.

Oh, the naive person I was when I wrote all these things on this blog.  It's been 10 years since I started this blog, and I think 2 people read it.  All I have been through.  I can't believe all I have been through and that my life has gone the way it has---

Something I didn't say when I started this blog, is that I was hearing things.  I was hearing things as I started this blog. I started hearing people not in the room talking to me in the summer of 2007.  I could write a book about the start of this and up to now, and I wish someone would help me do that---It would be a big chore, but I think it needs to be done.  I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, but I walk around knowing it's not that disease, and I know I sound schizophrenic if I say I know it's not schizophrenia but here I go.  It's because of this guy I went out with one time in 1996.  I said "no" to a second date and he at some point found a way through something to do with a satellite, to make me hear things.  I know how that sounds.

I never met Oprah.  Her show ended.  Why did I want to be on Oprah, anyway????

I almost lost my house.

I lost friends.

I struggle today with severe fatigue and sleepiness while I TRY to work.  Got a job at Dominos Pizza in Franklin, where I live, delivering pizzas.  Dominos is the hardest job since trying to work at a factory.  The pizza bags are heavy, it's boring, and just exhausting.

Just wish some people would read this.

Oh, I was so full of hope when I started this blog.

I am trying to start a new blog, new re-creation but I'm having problems finding the correct space on the web---website, etc.

I lost two special aunts and pets.  Special pets passed away, and some with sad stories of how they passed.

I lost parts of myself and my life. Lost parts.

I am trying to get out of working two jobs.  Trying to substitute teach (In Case I Don't Mention it or Haven't Mentioned It).  I've only done it twice this month.  Only Twice.  Was supposed to 3 times a week to handle the new car, other needs, etc.

I am creative.

My house needs to be fixed up, badly.  I need help with my house---need to turn my family room into a dining room, my garage into a family room and need new cabinets in my kitchen.  I need flooring.  I need paint.  I need extra space.

My cousin and her boyfriend/ex-boyfriend moved in.

IF I EVER GET OUT OF THE HELL I'M LIVING IN, I WANT TO DO THESE THINGS:

Start a vet clinic for people who can't pay for their pets' medical care, perhaps be a charitable entity. People who just want to support it can come, too, and make donations for care.

Start an organization that fixes up people's houses, people who can't afford to because of lack of income or reasonable debts, hardships.

Start a foundation to pay people's mortgages or rent or pay off mortgages if hardship is shown.

This goes along with previous thought---start a movement and foundation for vets who have patient parents that can't pay.

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I've experienced a need in all the previous thoughts---had problems getting vets to care for my pets when I had very little income.  I finally found one vet who would let me pay on a monthly basis, and I will be forever grateful.

My house has fallen into disrepair, and I know the toll it takes on someone to live in a place that does not look like a home.

I wanted to start the Paying Off People's Mortgages at the start of this blog. Don't know if I talked about it.  I was going to do it through a product called VEMMA.

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I live in some physical and emotional pain.  I was supposed to start subbing (substitute teaching) this month (September of 2017) but I haven't.  I've only worked at Domino's.  (Subbed twice).

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My special education teaching license expired and I took 12 hours at Xavier University, in Cincinnati, last year to renew that license.  I don't want to do the teaching job full time, now.

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I bought a new car but if I don't start working more or something, I could be in danger of losing it or the house.  I needed a new car.  My other car has had many problems but I kept it because it's paid for and in case I lose this one.  It also is good to take my dog to the vet in it.  It fits the kennel I have to put him in--he doesn't travel well.  He is a Schi Zhu--Joe.

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I shouldn't have a mortgage.  It's a shameful thing in my life.  My mother passed in 1993 and left me a paid off house.  I made some financial mistakes and mortgaged my paid off house.
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I patched things up with my uncle.

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What do I like?  What are hobbies?

I like/love coffee.  I love the HGTV shows and I watch as I drink my coffee mid-morning and covet the home improvements and covet new houses people will buy.

I watch YouTube videos of people putting on make up.  It's relaxing and intriguing for me.  I have a big stash of it myself, and I've spent saved money on it.  Probably not very wise expenditures but I consider it a way to get some happiness in life.  I love makeup.

I come up with ideas that I wish I could execute, like above, but I can't do anything.  I feel blocked and silenced in a way---I feel helpless---totally, completely helpless.

I've been knocked down so many times and I get up.  Somehow, I get up.  But, I"m tired.  I'm tired.

I love Anne Lamott books.  One late summer, into fall, I read one of her books, while sitting on my back patio.  I was waiting on Save The Dream, which made my mortgage payments for a while, to come through.  The scenery was so serene--my little Rat Terrier would lie on the patio, I'd sit in a chair and I would drink coffee, reading her book.

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Maybe I will write more, later, but I feel this site is junked up.  Badly.